Music is medicine for the Soul

Its been days since i have posted and im about to update my music player. Im in a happy mood for some strange reason and am getting bored of the ole soppy music lol.
Soo its Feb tomorrow!!! Where has the time gone? Its Destinys audition on Saturday, im so excited!! Then its her Birthday on the 9th and then its Cidneys on the 19th and then Amy is due! Its going to be a busy month but it will be a nice change. I cant believe the girls are going to be 10! woop woop.Wondering what else Feb is going to bring. Hopefully some answers & good news. As much as 2011 started out poop im hoping things will get better. I have had a lot of time to think and have realized sooo much & know that there is so much i need to work on. Its time i put a smile back on my face and start motivating myself and get back to the crazy bean i use to be. I bought so much misery on myself and others but im going to change that! Im even painting my nails again! adding some colour to my life..like GREEN lol.
Today me & mum went to buy Destinys Bday presents and went to the Kiosk in Kaufland and came across a very ''friendly'' lady *cough, cough sarcasm*. She reminds me so much why i dislike so many germans. EVERYTIME i leave the house to go somewhere i come across at least one person like this lady lol. I seriously thought this lady was going to batter me because i picked up a book to see what it was. She was huffing and puffing away and couldnt wait to rip it out of my hands and put it back where i picked it up from..weirdo. I also had a good chat with mum in the car today, it made me feel sooo much better
Anyway thats about it, im off i need to get those songs changed hehe..

ツ Shareen

10 Random Thoughts..

1. I think my whole facebook is pregnant or having a baby or just had a baby lol!

2. The new Purple wall that we painted today lookes awesome, cant wait for the new cupboard and the 3D TV to be set up on Tuesday.

3. Sometimes i wish wasnt related to certain someone so i could give him shit.

4. Im actually kinda looking forward to 2011..Just hope everything goes the way id like it to (which it never does anyone)

5. This is funny Military Homewreckers Karma..Seriously? Framing girls on a stupid FB group because your husband couldnt keep his pecker in his pants?? It takes 2 to Tango dummies..Get A Life.

6. I dont care if you agree or disagree with Nr.5 lol

7. I miss my boys, Bud & Kota :-(

8. People need to stop talking like they know it all when it comes to immigration and illegal immigrants. Just cos someone speaks spanish or russian or whatever doesnt mean they are illegal.

9. OMG American Idol :-D Loving the new Judges!

10. Jan is nearlly already over with..Where did the time go??


Im off to go and laugh my butt off some more Damn you Autocorrect

ツ Shareen

Its so cold

First of all i want to apologize for my last post haha but im gonna say it sure did make me feel better :-P I also feel super guilty for not posting yesterday lol. I have tried the whole blog thingy before and i gave up after 2 or 3 days but im going to try and keep at it.

Right now we have a tiny bit of snow and its so cold. Im sat here in my dressing gown all wrapped up. Ive not done much today but it looks like its going to be a busy weekend so im going to enjoy today as much as i can. Yesterday i woke up with a big smile on my face & the thought in my head that i do have some really wonderful people in my life. I have very few friends but the ones i do have are AWESOME and im also super lucky to have a great family including my In-laws. I wish i could say thank you to them all at once and show them how much i appreciate them and how happy i am to have them in my life. It was the first time in a long time that i felt really happy & im hoping in the next month or 2 i will feel like this a lot more. There is so much happening in my life right now that not to many people know of, that i havent been talking about on my Blog either as i dont feel my Blog is where it belongs but i can say Me & Jon got some good news this week and hopefully things are going to start looking up from here on out.

I need to talk about my ADDICTION..not drugs, alchohol or smoking! Its MBD - Military Bitches Debate haha. Its a group on FB that i can not stay away from. Like the name of it says its a bunch of military bitches who debate. Its pretty fun & a lot of the girls seem to have a good sence of humour and know how to have a good debate. I think i have actually learnt a lot about Americans and there lifestyle through these debates. So many are against gays. I dont see the problem but i guess thats because its not illegal to marry someone who is the same sex where i am from. My parents actually have Lesbians living next door (You can clearly tell who plays the man lol). If you wanna be gay, be gay :-) I dont understand why people care. Then we have SAHM & SAHW debates..Your fat, Your lazy, You have no respect for your husband yada yada yada. I sometimes get the feeling that many Americans are to stuck up in their own religions and beliefs that if you dont live the way they believe is right your a bad person or your trashy or whatever *sigh*. Oh god and to my one most HATED debate..Breastfeeding or Formula!! I dont even have my own kids but this debate makes me want to bang my head against the wall every single time. Why does it matter to you if the lady next to you doesnt breastfeed her baby? Is it not upto her if shes going to let her baby suck on her nip or not? Seriously!!! The best thing i read was ''Its been proven THAT KIDS WHO ARE FORMULA FED ARENT AS SMART AS BREASTFED BABYS''..I was n stitches. Ahh its all fun and i honestly do enjoy some of the stuff that gets debated. It can be entertaining.

Anyway the whole debate thingy just makes me wonder why so many people worry about how other people live their lives? Just let people do what works best for them yeh? lol.

Anyway im going to go now but i may be back again tonight!


ツ Shareen

Oh and P.S. i hope i didnt offend any Americans by what i was saying about the debates, i didnt say ALL were like that.

I wish i was a Bitch..

Ha yup! I wish i was a BITCH and could speak my mind and stick up for myself! I wish i wasnt such a people pleaser and didnt care about what other people think. Maybe there are reasons people say the things they do because they care for me but sometimes they just dont know when to stop.

I hate RUDE people & people who have no respect or little respect for others. I hate that i get embarressed for other people because they have no manners. I hate the fact that i always try and see the good in people because it never gets me anywhere.

Urgh i wish there was some kind of cure to being to nice. Today really isnt a good day and im going to bed just going to get ''over it'' like i always have to grr. Gooood Night!


ツ Shareen

Just a boring day..

*Yaawwwnz*..Not sure if its the weather but im am sooo tired! Not got much to say today..Still waiting on some news so im just sat around till i hear something. Went to dancing lessons with Destiny today. Im super excited, she has auditions on Feb 5th & i really hope she makes it this year. She was so close to getting in last year but because she had only been dancing for a couple of months they told her she should try out again this year. Im honestly a lil jelous that she has this opportunity because its something i always wanted to do when i was younger but glad that she can atleast do it and i can be there to support her. Apart from that i have done nothing exciting. Just waiting for im a celeb get me out of here to come on and then i will be heading to bed. Last nights show made me want to puke when their challenge was to eat maggots and cochroaches and purified rats tails *gagg*. Its still entertaining to watch haha.

Anyway today i want to share a photo that i took on my wonderful adventures cruising on the Carnival Splendor on November 7th..Yeah, the one that broke down and got stuck at sea for 3 days lol. Its a pic of Long Beach Port and the Queen Mary Hotel before we left. I dont know what but there is something about it that i love..



Oo and before i get going i need to say THANK YOU to Anna for my amazing header!!! I love love love it!

Well im off, im really craving some after eight mmm..Good night



ツ Shareen

Anxiety, Depression & Friends

Last night was one of those nights, to much time on my hands and i got thinking about the past. Back to recent events and back to the times when my Anixety was at its worst. Add a little depression and a lot of stress and what do you get?? A hot mess.

When my Anxiety first accured i was scared for my life. I didnt know what was happening with my body, i was on the floor, freaking out. I couldnt breath, i couldnt stop crying, i was shaking and my mind was blank. I felt so helpless. The one person who was meant to be there didnt know how to deal with it..just like i didnt. It wasnt till after i had a couple of anxiety attacks, i decided to go to the docs and see a counselor that i kind of just learned how to deal with it. I started to notice when i was at that point again. Sometimes i was so stressed just from doing the washing or cleaning, i would get little black outs or the worst headaches ever. I remember one time i was lying on the kitchen floor in tears holding my head. I was in so much pain that just a little move triggered this shooting pain in my head. I have never felt anything like it in my life. My heart also started racing very often, wether i was just stressing about the dog being a butt or sometimes i wasnt even doing anything. I went from haven anxiety attacks very often to just feeling anxiety. It was hard to talk about it because i felt stupid. No one could feel what i was feeling so it just seemed pointless trying to make anyone understand. Looking back i wish i would have spoken about it. I got to a point where the anxiety was depressing me. I wouldnt say i was mega depressed i was just never happy because i constantly felt ill. It affected my whole life and i kinda just hit rock bottom..Last night looking back at how i tried to deal with it and how i felt going through it all just made me angry, sad and numb. Im glad i can talk about it now and i really hope to never have to go through it again.

Anyway enough of the depressng stuff! There are 2 friends in particular that have been on my mind all day that i just want to mention. Bianca also known as Miss Party Pants (You dont wanna know!). I have known her for hmm nearlly 5 years and she is in Afghanistan right now. She works for an amazing company called EFI/NAAFI haha just kidding. The company provides services to the armed forces overseas. She is a crazy lady and although there were times we didnt get along at all i still love and miss her! We have had some good times together & i hope to see her again soon. Miss yhoo Bskie!!

And my second friend is Claire..'Nora Suck my Dong''! She is having a hard time right now and has been dealing with some similar issues that i went through. I hope you feel better soon chick & you know where i am if you need to talk! xoxo

Enough of my rambles for today..Hoping tomorrow will bring some good news. Trying not to get my hopes to high but my life is depending on it. Good night!!


ツ Shareen

Joss Stone - Right to be Wrong

Came across this Song today..I think its absoulutly beautiful and wanted to share it


 

My First Blog

Wir leben zu sehr in der vergangenheit
Haben angst vor der zukunft
Und vergessen dabei vollig, die gegenwart zu geniessen ♥

So today i decided im going to start a Blog. Im not sure if anyone will read it but it doesnt really matter, i just want a place where i can write down my feelings & ramble and vent when i need to. As of right now i have been working on this blog for hours trying to find a template but im failing badly lol. I havent found any nice ones on this blogger thingy and google is just fishing out a load of poop too. I guess i will just keep searching till im happy with it.

Well today hasn't really been a good day. I've had a lot on my mind lately and very often feel like no one understands me. I know im not the first person to go through what im going through but who can you turn to when you feel lonely no matter what? I know i have some great friends who have been amazing these last couple of weeks and always know how to cheer me up yet the last few days have just been miserable. I wish i had a crystal ball so that i could see into the future and know whats going to happen next..

Anyway yeh thats not ever going to happen so i will just have to wait and see what life throws at me next. Hopefully an amazing website with blogger templates so i can finish this lol. Thats all for now, i just needed to get that off my chest and now its back to some serious searching!


ツ Shareen