Good Morning, Its Carnival Weekend..

So after fleeing to the sofa sometime this morning to sleep because my big sister was snoring in my ear and moving every 3 secs i can say my sleep wasnt to bad. No nightmares thank god.
The night before last i had my 4th dream about dying on a cruise. I still dont understand what the hell is going through my head. Its like im traumatized (i just streched and dipped my fingers in yogurt by accident after i typed that haha) Anyway i feel like im traumatized from my cruise experience in Nov even though i never felt scared while it was all happening. I even said i wasnt scared to go on a cruise again afterwards but after my 4th dream i really dont ever want to step foot on a cruise. Since i have been suffering with anxiety and depression a lot of things have changed. Ive become really sensetive. I use to be an adventurous person who wasnt scared of much. I was never afraid to try anything and everything and now im a chicken. Now im even afraid of my sisters celler. I felt like all the walls were caving in on me while i was there this past week. I even freaked out in the bathroom. I was never grossed out when people would talk about shit at the dinner table or something disgusting now when someone says something or i think of something gross i have the urge to be sick so bad. Im also afraid to do anything for anyone because im worried it wont be good enough. Its a horrible feeling and i hope one day i will be able to overcome it all. It sucks to live on edge all the time and not being able to do anything about it.

Anyway its Carneval this weekend. Tomorrow the Carneval parade is on in town. It still amazes me that in bigger towns i have lived, people didnt celebrate but in this place we live in now...with only 2800 people here its like the BIGGIEST thing all year round. This town has a church, an old peoples home, a graveyard and 1 store. It makes me wonder where all these people come from because this town is usually dead. Any excuse to get drunk though i guess haha. I was trying to find a picture of us all last year but i couldnt find anything..i did find a different picture though that made me laugh. It shows my family and what we typically look like at a time like this

We are a crazy bunch hehe. We do have a good laugh and sure know how to party.

I need to go and get dressed and clean a bit but ill be back online later to sort my Blog out and get tomorrows Blog Hop sorted :)